Happy Holidays, Rose Buds! And, welcome back to The Garden! We are so happy to see our little buds sprouting, growing, and flourishing into the wonderful beings they are!
Today, I wanted to do some checking in and help us destress during this stressful time of year. We are going to talk about holiday self-care!
Now, part of this self-care is setting boundaries and setting time aside for you to decompress, destress, and enjoy yourself!
Holidays mean family time. Now, that can be enjoyable and the best part of the holidays, but for some, it can be really hard. Here are three simple rules that will help you set your boundaries and allow time for you. These are necessary in my mind, but please take away from this things that work for you. I will say though that boundaries ARE self-care! I promise!
1. Don’t let anyone talk about your weight, what you eat, or anything about your physical appearance.
I will add an exception for this: your killer outfits and accessories! It is more than okay to compliment someone's impeccable style! Right?!
So, back to the rule. If someone says, “Wow, that’s a lot of gingerbread cookies you’ve eaten.” You can either ignore it, or say something in response to stop their judgement like, “The holidays are a special time with special treats. I’m allowed to enjoy myself.”
This shuts down the toxic thing they are saying and opens up a conversation about holiday treats and traditions, a complete change of subject! I’m pretty sure the holidays are about celebrating and food is a BIG part of celebration. No food shaming! Ever! Got it? Good!
2. Say No!
I mean it! Say no when you really don’t feel like you can do whatever is being asked of you. And I mean, when you feel completely overwhelmed by this ask.
You don’t have to go to that fifth holiday party. Even if it is a close friend, they will understand. And if they don’t then, are they being a good friend to you? You don’t have to go into full details, nor do you have to explain yourself, but if you say something like, “I really wish I could go, I am just depleted right now and need rest.” Or you can say you’re ill because mentally, if you are depleted, you will are on the verge of being ill and so need rest. If you don't get rest, you will get sick physically. So take care of yourself!
Also, I know this time is about giving and sacrificing. While this is a noble part of the holiday, you do not have to sacrifice your sanity and health. Maybe a way to still have that giving spirit is by planning for it. Some things I know you can’t plan for, but maybe keep an extra twenty dollars on you, or some granola bars. You never know when someone might be in need and planning ahead in that way can relieve stress and keep that giving spirit alive.
3. As much time that you have planned out for family and events, give yourself almost equal amount of time for yourself.
Say you have family coming over for dinner and it lasts three hours. Schedule between 1.5-3 hours out for you. That could be a nap. A movie at the movie theater. Treating yourself to a nice long lunch. Or even a bath with a book. Or, if you are the kind of person who likes being with people, schedule time with a good friend.
These rules are more really just suggestions. You take away what you need and what works for you. I don’t know everything, but I care about your well-being. I hope you treat yourself in more ways than one this season.
This time is truly a joyous time, but it can also be absolutely hectic. It doesn’t need to be. You don’t even have to be an expert planner for it not to be. Just respect you and your needs.
I know that these rules/ suggestions can be difficult when you are a mother. I don’t know much about that realm, but something that is always okay is asking for help. I know, that can be hard, especially when other people are practicing their boundaries. But there are people who love and support you who will be around during this season, hopefully at least, and I think they would be willing to give you that gift, especially during the season of giving. And if you have the means, you can always hire a babysitter. That’s giving someone the gift of a job and giving you some time off. Again, I am not an expert in this; however, I do care about you and want you to find some time to destress. I am also giving you permission to take care of you because some of us need that permission right now, and that's okay.
“You is important!” No, seriously, you are important and your well-being is important. You are important to me and all of us here at Rose & Clay.
I hope you enjoy your holidays! I know I will be scheduling some time for myself to watch cheesy hallmark movies and drink hot cocoa!
Much love to our holiday celebrating Rose Buds!